Respect, or the lack thereof...
Respect is a funny thing. The people who have it the most are usually also the ones who ask for it the least. Conversely of course, the ones who demand it the most are usually the ones who least deserve it. As far as I can see, there are 3 main types of respect. There is respect for a person whom you feel respect for as a person (wow, what a tongue-twister), then there is respect for a person due to his appointment, and finally, there is the respect for a person due to his reputation. More often than not, the respect we feel for a person consists of a mixture of some or all of the above.
Let's elaborate a little more. I have respect for some of my peers because I have seen them at work or at play. I see how they think, how they respond to various conundrums and situations, and I admire them for their thought processes and paradigms. It becomes a learning experience for me to be able to follow how they think, or failing that, to at least emulate their actions and then think through their motivations for their actions. The more I feel their thought processes and actions make sense, or reflects integrity, or results in desirable consequences, the more I respect them. This is respect for a person for his sake.
Then there is respect for a person due to his appointment. This is an increasing phenomenon in today's increasingly capitalistic world *wry grinz*. So you have all those high and mighty managers in huge mega-corporations expecting that you'd afford them the necessary ass-kissing respect just because they are high and mighty managers in huge mega-corporations. Deja vu, no? Don't get me wrong, I do have respect for a lot of my managers where I work, but that's because I respect them as people of integrity who are knowledgeable go-getters. But, there are also managers who expect respect without even lifting their pudgy arses out of their oversized chairs. Those, I won't even bother giving the time of the day to.
Then there is the third type of respect we usually reserve for pop idols, the Pope and Lee Kwan Yew. These people are given respect by us because of their achievements and their public behaviour. Indirectly, there is also respect by proxy: if a friend you vastly respect has a mentor he speaks glowingly of, then even though you may not have met this mentor, you'd already have some modicum of respect for him. Or, say you really like my blog and totally agree with my views, and are totally enamoured by the clear and concise way I put my thoughts across. You'd respect me because of my blog even though you've never met me before! (LOL, is that total self-promotion or WHAT! hahaha)
What is the point of this long and rambling discourse on respect? Well, I happen to think that the respect least deserving of being given is the type of respect that is expected from me just because that person happens to be my superior. Now there are two managers in my work place who happen to fall into that category, and let me tell you, the feeling sucks big time. To these two managers, all I can say is, don't presume to tell me how to do my work, especially when you are unwilling, or unable, to provide me with the necessary guidance in order to demonstrate to me how to do my work. You want my respect? Earn it. Don't tell me to accord you respect just because of your position.
And to any other person who happen to stumble onto my humble blog, remember that you don't get respect just by expecting it. It doesn't matter if you want respect with regards to your position, or in a relationship, or in the workplace, or as head of the family, or as a leader of a group or organisation. Respect, true respect from the heart, can only be earned and freely given. It cannot be demanded from, or expected. Staying true to yourself is laudable and a virtue, but to go one step further, stay true to the people who are close to you, who depend on you, or who look up to you.
Let's elaborate a little more. I have respect for some of my peers because I have seen them at work or at play. I see how they think, how they respond to various conundrums and situations, and I admire them for their thought processes and paradigms. It becomes a learning experience for me to be able to follow how they think, or failing that, to at least emulate their actions and then think through their motivations for their actions. The more I feel their thought processes and actions make sense, or reflects integrity, or results in desirable consequences, the more I respect them. This is respect for a person for his sake.
Then there is respect for a person due to his appointment. This is an increasing phenomenon in today's increasingly capitalistic world *wry grinz*. So you have all those high and mighty managers in huge mega-corporations expecting that you'd afford them the necessary ass-kissing respect just because they are high and mighty managers in huge mega-corporations. Deja vu, no? Don't get me wrong, I do have respect for a lot of my managers where I work, but that's because I respect them as people of integrity who are knowledgeable go-getters. But, there are also managers who expect respect without even lifting their pudgy arses out of their oversized chairs. Those, I won't even bother giving the time of the day to.
Then there is the third type of respect we usually reserve for pop idols, the Pope and Lee Kwan Yew. These people are given respect by us because of their achievements and their public behaviour. Indirectly, there is also respect by proxy: if a friend you vastly respect has a mentor he speaks glowingly of, then even though you may not have met this mentor, you'd already have some modicum of respect for him. Or, say you really like my blog and totally agree with my views, and are totally enamoured by the clear and concise way I put my thoughts across. You'd respect me because of my blog even though you've never met me before! (LOL, is that total self-promotion or WHAT! hahaha)
What is the point of this long and rambling discourse on respect? Well, I happen to think that the respect least deserving of being given is the type of respect that is expected from me just because that person happens to be my superior. Now there are two managers in my work place who happen to fall into that category, and let me tell you, the feeling sucks big time. To these two managers, all I can say is, don't presume to tell me how to do my work, especially when you are unwilling, or unable, to provide me with the necessary guidance in order to demonstrate to me how to do my work. You want my respect? Earn it. Don't tell me to accord you respect just because of your position.
And to any other person who happen to stumble onto my humble blog, remember that you don't get respect just by expecting it. It doesn't matter if you want respect with regards to your position, or in a relationship, or in the workplace, or as head of the family, or as a leader of a group or organisation. Respect, true respect from the heart, can only be earned and freely given. It cannot be demanded from, or expected. Staying true to yourself is laudable and a virtue, but to go one step further, stay true to the people who are close to you, who depend on you, or who look up to you.
posted by ekkie at 2:07 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home