Janice, get your head out of the sand!
I have just been given a "lesson" in the virtues of generalisation. I am writing once again, about my "favourite" writer in The New Paper, one Miss Janice Wong. And the article in question is that which appeared in the 28th Aug issue of the said tabloid.
In a nutshell, Janice laments the state of both males and females in Singapore. In other words, within one little commentary that looks like it will barely touch the 400-word crossbar, she succeeds in insulting every single thinking adult in Singapore (and across the world, for she doesn't really confine her comments to the people in our little red dot). I take umbrage in so many points she makes in her article, that I’m frankly at a loss as to where to start.
Firstly, she makes the dual observation that women are a) fearful of rejection, and b) clingy. As far as I can see, the people who are fearful of rejection are not just the women. They are the people. I mean, you ever met a guy who is not fearful of rejection too? And the problem is that for guys, the chances of rejection can be so much higher. Many guys I know would feel flattered if a lady were to walk up to them and ask for a date. Even if we didn’t feel like it, we would try to let her down gently and reject her in the nicest way possible. How does a female reject a guy on the other hand? You ever had a woman stare at you as if you were a square egg or JaJa Binks? I have… And it’s not an experience I care to repeat, thank you. And trust me, I’m not the only one.
Clinginess (the spell check doesn’t seem to have this word, so I am inventing it here…) on the other hand is, as far as I can see, more of a female trait than a male’s. The problem is, I really don’t look at clinginess as a problem. Yes, we guess can joke about women being koalas (you know, those cute little furry creatures that if given a chance, will cling onto your back and never let go), but hey, I don’t think women are really as bad as all that. In a truly reciprocally loving relationship, the men can be as clingy as the women; and that I feel, is actually a good thing if not carried to extremes. And letting your imagination run wild is totally different from being clingy (a distinction sadly lacking in Janice’s article).
But the phrase that irritates me the most is when she writes, "But there are very few eligible single men in Singapore – I can testify under oath on that. On the rare instance when I meet one, I want it to work very much. I am willing to make concessions." What the fuck?! Very few eligible single men in Singapore? And she can testify under oath to that? How can you testify under oath to something that is plainly so subjective? And how does she define eligible anyway? What does she need? Face like Brad Pitt, hair like Beckham, body like Tom Cruise, intellect like Tommy Koh and money like Bill Gates? Sheesh. Look all around you… What is eligible not eligible to you Janice, is probably eminently eligible to many other fine ladies out there, who may not be as pretty or as erudite as you, but who are also more charming and not as cynical as you are.
And Janice goes on to say that she wants it to work. She is willing to make concessions. Note the word concessions. I just want to say to her: Are you bargaining now? You concede to one thing and perhaps he’ll concede to another? If you are going to view your relationship as such a counter-counting game, then it is small wonder that all your past relationships have been failures.
If any of you readers who have stumbled upon my humble blog also read The New Paper on Sunday, you would know that a thumbnail sized colour photo of herself always accompanies Janice Wong’s column. In all fairness, by what I see of her looks, and in her writing skills, I have to admit that under these two yardsticks, she is an eminently eligible lady. But Janice will have to learn that the world does not revolve around her; and that if she is going to wait for a guy meet ALL her expectations, and then to totally love her before she is willing to even consider loving him back, then I am afraid that she will be doomed to single-hood forever.
Janice, don’t make yourself out to be a bra-burning male bashing fem-libber. All those that I know die young, bitter and alone.
In a nutshell, Janice laments the state of both males and females in Singapore. In other words, within one little commentary that looks like it will barely touch the 400-word crossbar, she succeeds in insulting every single thinking adult in Singapore (and across the world, for she doesn't really confine her comments to the people in our little red dot). I take umbrage in so many points she makes in her article, that I’m frankly at a loss as to where to start.
Firstly, she makes the dual observation that women are a) fearful of rejection, and b) clingy. As far as I can see, the people who are fearful of rejection are not just the women. They are the people. I mean, you ever met a guy who is not fearful of rejection too? And the problem is that for guys, the chances of rejection can be so much higher. Many guys I know would feel flattered if a lady were to walk up to them and ask for a date. Even if we didn’t feel like it, we would try to let her down gently and reject her in the nicest way possible. How does a female reject a guy on the other hand? You ever had a woman stare at you as if you were a square egg or JaJa Binks? I have… And it’s not an experience I care to repeat, thank you. And trust me, I’m not the only one.
Clinginess (the spell check doesn’t seem to have this word, so I am inventing it here…) on the other hand is, as far as I can see, more of a female trait than a male’s. The problem is, I really don’t look at clinginess as a problem. Yes, we guess can joke about women being koalas (you know, those cute little furry creatures that if given a chance, will cling onto your back and never let go), but hey, I don’t think women are really as bad as all that. In a truly reciprocally loving relationship, the men can be as clingy as the women; and that I feel, is actually a good thing if not carried to extremes. And letting your imagination run wild is totally different from being clingy (a distinction sadly lacking in Janice’s article).
But the phrase that irritates me the most is when she writes, "But there are very few eligible single men in Singapore – I can testify under oath on that. On the rare instance when I meet one, I want it to work very much. I am willing to make concessions." What the fuck?! Very few eligible single men in Singapore? And she can testify under oath to that? How can you testify under oath to something that is plainly so subjective? And how does she define eligible anyway? What does she need? Face like Brad Pitt, hair like Beckham, body like Tom Cruise, intellect like Tommy Koh and money like Bill Gates? Sheesh. Look all around you… What is eligible not eligible to you Janice, is probably eminently eligible to many other fine ladies out there, who may not be as pretty or as erudite as you, but who are also more charming and not as cynical as you are.
And Janice goes on to say that she wants it to work. She is willing to make concessions. Note the word concessions. I just want to say to her: Are you bargaining now? You concede to one thing and perhaps he’ll concede to another? If you are going to view your relationship as such a counter-counting game, then it is small wonder that all your past relationships have been failures.
If any of you readers who have stumbled upon my humble blog also read The New Paper on Sunday, you would know that a thumbnail sized colour photo of herself always accompanies Janice Wong’s column. In all fairness, by what I see of her looks, and in her writing skills, I have to admit that under these two yardsticks, she is an eminently eligible lady. But Janice will have to learn that the world does not revolve around her; and that if she is going to wait for a guy meet ALL her expectations, and then to totally love her before she is willing to even consider loving him back, then I am afraid that she will be doomed to single-hood forever.
Janice, don’t make yourself out to be a bra-burning male bashing fem-libber. All those that I know die young, bitter and alone.
posted by ekkie at 3:41 am
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