When Prejudice Overides Integrity
When I was studying psychology and sociology in university, there were a couple of modules on both stereotyping and deviancy. The premise for stereotyping is that these days, there are so many specialisations in terms of occupations, culture and religious beliefs that the average human brain is unable to assimilate all aspects of every individual one meets. The solution is to accord to each new acquaintance characteristics of a particular stereotype that one perceives that new acquaintance to belong to. The most common by far is that of race and nationality. Just for example, if one is perceived to belong to Arab-Middle Eastern descent, a whole host of associated perceived steoreotypes of that person may flood the perception of an average Caucasian. In fact, the statement I just made is in itself an exercise in stereotyping. In actuality, the only fair way is to perceive every new person we meet as a complete and unique individual in his or her own right.
The problem with stereotyping is that by definition, it breeds prejudice. Even before actually knowing a new acquaintance for who he or she is, by stereotyping that individual, we are already building a base of biasness against that individual. And when that biasness is translated into action, prejudice is the result. Here in Singapore, we tend to view many workers from other countries as being of a lower social status than we are: Chinese nationals, Indian nationals and even Thai and Filipino nationals are looked upon as not being of equal status as Singaporeans; which makes for a rather sad state of affairs.
The recent case on the murder of a Chinese female national in a heartland massage parlour brought my thoughts sharply into focus. Whispers and common gossip on the ground agreed that she had it coming to her. Working in a lower-end massage parlour (not spa, mind you) denotes the presence of certain sleazy and dodgy activities which concludes the average massage session. In effect, there is a perception that many massage parlours in Singapore are just fronts for places which offer sexual services.
To put things sharply into perspective, we need only think deeply into the motives which drive young women to uproot themselves away from their families to travel thousands of kilometres to a little red dot in South East Asia. It is so easy to say that they are doing it for money. But think further. What drives them to sever family ties? To travel alone and without the security of friends? To stake their future in a career as uncertain as a masseuse? To risk being ridiculed and stared at? To leave everything they hold dear for the hope, not the promise, just the hope, of something better? Bar none, every one of those young women are protagonists in a life story which can break even the stoniest of hearts.
And yet, as a nation, as a people, we stare and point fingers and walk pass them with our noses in the air and even in extremes, commit bodily harm on them. They don't deserve such treatment from us. If it weren't for circumstances, they would not even have ventured so far abroad to seek their fortune. They are also here to eke out a living the best they can, and all because the Singaporean currency is, for the present, stronger than the Chinese yuan. At least they eke out their living with quiet dignity and integrity.
What dignity and integrity is there in being a masseuse, you ask? Or for that matter, what dignity and integrity is there in being a bar-top dancer, or a prostitute, or a social escort? All these are occupations which are perceived by the public to be depraved and without morals. But I would like to ask this question: Wherein lies the dignity and integrity of being born with a golden spoon in one's mouth? In marrying rich and becoming a socialite? In sponging off the work of others? I believe the average hooker in Geylang possesses more integrity of spirit than any woman whose overiding aim in life is to marry rich and idle for the rest of her days.
Walk into a bar in Orchard Towers. You get approached by a girl. She is beautiful, and her intentions are obvious. She wants you to take her out for a short time. And she will charge a fee for that time. And she promises to make you happy. Therein likes the dignity and integrity of behaviour. She is willing to serve if you are willing to pay. It is the honouring and fulfillment of a verbal contract to the best of both parties' abilities. On the other hand, walk into a posh establishment. A girl comes up to you. She smiles at you, and asks you for a drink. Dazzled by her, you buy her a drink. She starts making small-talk and then eventually asks for another drink. And another, and another. As the night wears on, your hopes raise. But at the end of the night, she waves goodbye and leaves without a backward glance.
If you say the second girl has more dignity and integrity than the first, then I implore you to look closely at the principles which compelled you to that view. If the behaviour of those girls were translated into business practices, you would know what I meant. Which would you rather do business with? The business which is upfront and honest with you? Or the business which leads you on, siphons your money, and then leaves you high and dry?
Please, don't let prejudice cloud how you see someone. You may not approve of their actions, but behind many pretty faces, lies stories that may break your heart, and a character which may possess more dignity and integrity than many of us...
The problem with stereotyping is that by definition, it breeds prejudice. Even before actually knowing a new acquaintance for who he or she is, by stereotyping that individual, we are already building a base of biasness against that individual. And when that biasness is translated into action, prejudice is the result. Here in Singapore, we tend to view many workers from other countries as being of a lower social status than we are: Chinese nationals, Indian nationals and even Thai and Filipino nationals are looked upon as not being of equal status as Singaporeans; which makes for a rather sad state of affairs.
The recent case on the murder of a Chinese female national in a heartland massage parlour brought my thoughts sharply into focus. Whispers and common gossip on the ground agreed that she had it coming to her. Working in a lower-end massage parlour (not spa, mind you) denotes the presence of certain sleazy and dodgy activities which concludes the average massage session. In effect, there is a perception that many massage parlours in Singapore are just fronts for places which offer sexual services.
To put things sharply into perspective, we need only think deeply into the motives which drive young women to uproot themselves away from their families to travel thousands of kilometres to a little red dot in South East Asia. It is so easy to say that they are doing it for money. But think further. What drives them to sever family ties? To travel alone and without the security of friends? To stake their future in a career as uncertain as a masseuse? To risk being ridiculed and stared at? To leave everything they hold dear for the hope, not the promise, just the hope, of something better? Bar none, every one of those young women are protagonists in a life story which can break even the stoniest of hearts.
And yet, as a nation, as a people, we stare and point fingers and walk pass them with our noses in the air and even in extremes, commit bodily harm on them. They don't deserve such treatment from us. If it weren't for circumstances, they would not even have ventured so far abroad to seek their fortune. They are also here to eke out a living the best they can, and all because the Singaporean currency is, for the present, stronger than the Chinese yuan. At least they eke out their living with quiet dignity and integrity.
What dignity and integrity is there in being a masseuse, you ask? Or for that matter, what dignity and integrity is there in being a bar-top dancer, or a prostitute, or a social escort? All these are occupations which are perceived by the public to be depraved and without morals. But I would like to ask this question: Wherein lies the dignity and integrity of being born with a golden spoon in one's mouth? In marrying rich and becoming a socialite? In sponging off the work of others? I believe the average hooker in Geylang possesses more integrity of spirit than any woman whose overiding aim in life is to marry rich and idle for the rest of her days.
Walk into a bar in Orchard Towers. You get approached by a girl. She is beautiful, and her intentions are obvious. She wants you to take her out for a short time. And she will charge a fee for that time. And she promises to make you happy. Therein likes the dignity and integrity of behaviour. She is willing to serve if you are willing to pay. It is the honouring and fulfillment of a verbal contract to the best of both parties' abilities. On the other hand, walk into a posh establishment. A girl comes up to you. She smiles at you, and asks you for a drink. Dazzled by her, you buy her a drink. She starts making small-talk and then eventually asks for another drink. And another, and another. As the night wears on, your hopes raise. But at the end of the night, she waves goodbye and leaves without a backward glance.
If you say the second girl has more dignity and integrity than the first, then I implore you to look closely at the principles which compelled you to that view. If the behaviour of those girls were translated into business practices, you would know what I meant. Which would you rather do business with? The business which is upfront and honest with you? Or the business which leads you on, siphons your money, and then leaves you high and dry?
Please, don't let prejudice cloud how you see someone. You may not approve of their actions, but behind many pretty faces, lies stories that may break your heart, and a character which may possess more dignity and integrity than many of us...
posted by ekkie at 5:04 am
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