What Do You Choose To Feel On Your Deathbed?
I watched House again a couple of nights back. Amazing how many of life’s lessons you can sometimes learn from a TV series.
In this episode, Amber was admitted into the hospital in critical condition after a serious road accident, suffering from kidney damage and overdosing on flu medication. In case you didn’t know, the character Amber was a shortlisted candidate for House’s new team of doctors, and then became Wilson’s (House’s best friend) girlfriend. This episode contained “firsts” of many kinds: it was the first time House was treating someone dear to him (or at least someone dear to his best friend); it was the first time House actually put his own life at risk in order to treat a patient; and it was the first time (that I know of) that House’s patient died. But that’s not what I’m writing about. I am writing about one particular line which stuck in my mind after watching the show.
In the deathbed scene, Wilson was lying beside Amber comforting her in her final moments. With tears in his eyes and a voice choked with emotion, Wilson asked Amber, “Why aren’t you angry?” (After all, Amber was in this situation because she went to pick up an inebriated House who was drinking in a seedy pub). Amber’s reply? “I don’t want it to be the last feeling I have before I die...”
Amber’s words, uttered on her deathbed, shows a maturity and a desire to be a better person, even on the brink of death. More than that, it shows the futility of harbouring anger to the exclusion of all other things. Would you want to die angry, resentful and bitter against all that life and fate threw at you? Or, despite life’s random throw of dice, you choose to accept your karma with equilibrium, serenity and yea, even love? I hope I am man enough, mature enough to do the latter.
All emotions out there have a bearing on how we choose to see our circumstances. Many emotions in turn also have a bearing on how we actually run our lives; how much bearing those emotions bring to our actions, boil down to individual willpower and objectivity. When you are happy, the world takes on a rosy tinge. When you are optimistic, the world seems to be your oyster. However, when you are sad, bitter and resentful, it can seem as if the world is forsaking you, and that life is not worth living. My take on this is both exhilarating and depressing... Frankly, the world doesn’t give a shit, and it doesn’t revolve around any one person.
Depressing isn’t it? You aren’t at the centre of the universe after all. But why is it exhilarating? Because it is also liberating: the world may not give a shit about you, but you can change how you see and interact with the world, just by embracing the emotions which can aid you in life. If it were up to me, I would want to go to my deathbed dying with a smile on my face: happy, loving, positive and accepting. I don’t want to die looking ugly by feeling anger, hatred, despair and bitterness. That is not to say I reject anger; like all emotions, the negative emotions (the Jedis call it the Dark Side) all have their place. But to me, they are acquaintances. Just look at them, accept that they are there, and then release them. Negative emotions will never be my bosom buddies and constant companions.
That is what I am striving for...
In this episode, Amber was admitted into the hospital in critical condition after a serious road accident, suffering from kidney damage and overdosing on flu medication. In case you didn’t know, the character Amber was a shortlisted candidate for House’s new team of doctors, and then became Wilson’s (House’s best friend) girlfriend. This episode contained “firsts” of many kinds: it was the first time House was treating someone dear to him (or at least someone dear to his best friend); it was the first time House actually put his own life at risk in order to treat a patient; and it was the first time (that I know of) that House’s patient died. But that’s not what I’m writing about. I am writing about one particular line which stuck in my mind after watching the show.
In the deathbed scene, Wilson was lying beside Amber comforting her in her final moments. With tears in his eyes and a voice choked with emotion, Wilson asked Amber, “Why aren’t you angry?” (After all, Amber was in this situation because she went to pick up an inebriated House who was drinking in a seedy pub). Amber’s reply? “I don’t want it to be the last feeling I have before I die...”
Amber’s words, uttered on her deathbed, shows a maturity and a desire to be a better person, even on the brink of death. More than that, it shows the futility of harbouring anger to the exclusion of all other things. Would you want to die angry, resentful and bitter against all that life and fate threw at you? Or, despite life’s random throw of dice, you choose to accept your karma with equilibrium, serenity and yea, even love? I hope I am man enough, mature enough to do the latter.
All emotions out there have a bearing on how we choose to see our circumstances. Many emotions in turn also have a bearing on how we actually run our lives; how much bearing those emotions bring to our actions, boil down to individual willpower and objectivity. When you are happy, the world takes on a rosy tinge. When you are optimistic, the world seems to be your oyster. However, when you are sad, bitter and resentful, it can seem as if the world is forsaking you, and that life is not worth living. My take on this is both exhilarating and depressing... Frankly, the world doesn’t give a shit, and it doesn’t revolve around any one person.
Depressing isn’t it? You aren’t at the centre of the universe after all. But why is it exhilarating? Because it is also liberating: the world may not give a shit about you, but you can change how you see and interact with the world, just by embracing the emotions which can aid you in life. If it were up to me, I would want to go to my deathbed dying with a smile on my face: happy, loving, positive and accepting. I don’t want to die looking ugly by feeling anger, hatred, despair and bitterness. That is not to say I reject anger; like all emotions, the negative emotions (the Jedis call it the Dark Side) all have their place. But to me, they are acquaintances. Just look at them, accept that they are there, and then release them. Negative emotions will never be my bosom buddies and constant companions.
That is what I am striving for...
posted by ekkie at 12:18 pm
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