Judgementalism
I read an article a couple of weeks back in a local tabloid: The New Paper. The name of the author escapes me right now. In the article, the author (who belongs to the fairer gender) admits that no matter how good a character a man is, no matter how kind, or gentle, or new age-y, as long as he is a smoker, she will never consider him to be his life partner.
This saddens me.
What, pray tell me, does a disgusting habit like smoking (and mark my words, even though I'm a smoker, I do admit that smoking IS a disgusting habit) have got to do with how good a boyfriend or husband or life partner I am going to be? Maybe my clothes may stink. Fine. I'll spray more cologne. Maybe my breath might stink. Fine. I've got mouth-spray and I'll brush a dozen times a day. Maybe she's afraid that she'll get sick from all that second-hand smoke. Well, I've never smoked in front of someone who didn't like the smell of smoke. Maybe I'll die earlier than my partner. Well then she's really got nothing to complain, because she stands to inherit from all the insurance policies I've splurged on myself.
So please! Enlighten me... Does smoking make me any lesser of a man? Does it impair my judgement? Does it debilitate me? Does it make me a monster? No. And if there are any scientific studies to the contrary, well I'd sure love to hear about it.
You know, I did a web search on the key word judgementalism. Almost all the results that came back were from the point of view of Christianity. While many of the articles raised salient points, they were all from a religious point of view. And this in turn begs the question: Is judgmentalism so much a part of our culture and society that we become blasé about it? It doesn't take very much to show that the answer to the above question must be an unqualified "yes". Look at all the advertisements around us. Products and services screaming what we should or should not wear, what we should or should not do, where we should or should not go, how we should or should not be.
Why can't we concentrate on our similarities rather than our differences? Why can't we recognise the fact that we have the same 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears and 1 mouth? That whether an oriental makes love to a negro, or a caucasian makes love to a mongoloid, we would still produce a wonderful cute little bundle of joy? Is this fixation with differences going to tear the human race apart? In fact, isn't it already happening?
To me, everyone deserves to have at least one chance to prove himself, regardless of where he comes from, how he looks like or what his habits are. I am more inclined to reject for a life-mate someone who has betrayed my trust in her before, rather than someone who perhaps likes to pick her nose in public or farts fit to shatter windows.
When you say you reject someone, without even first getting to know that person, then the only person you are short-changing is yourself. Please... giving a chance comes from the heart. Don't betray your heart.
This saddens me.
What, pray tell me, does a disgusting habit like smoking (and mark my words, even though I'm a smoker, I do admit that smoking IS a disgusting habit) have got to do with how good a boyfriend or husband or life partner I am going to be? Maybe my clothes may stink. Fine. I'll spray more cologne. Maybe my breath might stink. Fine. I've got mouth-spray and I'll brush a dozen times a day. Maybe she's afraid that she'll get sick from all that second-hand smoke. Well, I've never smoked in front of someone who didn't like the smell of smoke. Maybe I'll die earlier than my partner. Well then she's really got nothing to complain, because she stands to inherit from all the insurance policies I've splurged on myself.
So please! Enlighten me... Does smoking make me any lesser of a man? Does it impair my judgement? Does it debilitate me? Does it make me a monster? No. And if there are any scientific studies to the contrary, well I'd sure love to hear about it.
You know, I did a web search on the key word judgementalism. Almost all the results that came back were from the point of view of Christianity. While many of the articles raised salient points, they were all from a religious point of view. And this in turn begs the question: Is judgmentalism so much a part of our culture and society that we become blasé about it? It doesn't take very much to show that the answer to the above question must be an unqualified "yes". Look at all the advertisements around us. Products and services screaming what we should or should not wear, what we should or should not do, where we should or should not go, how we should or should not be.
Why can't we concentrate on our similarities rather than our differences? Why can't we recognise the fact that we have the same 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears and 1 mouth? That whether an oriental makes love to a negro, or a caucasian makes love to a mongoloid, we would still produce a wonderful cute little bundle of joy? Is this fixation with differences going to tear the human race apart? In fact, isn't it already happening?
To me, everyone deserves to have at least one chance to prove himself, regardless of where he comes from, how he looks like or what his habits are. I am more inclined to reject for a life-mate someone who has betrayed my trust in her before, rather than someone who perhaps likes to pick her nose in public or farts fit to shatter windows.
When you say you reject someone, without even first getting to know that person, then the only person you are short-changing is yourself. Please... giving a chance comes from the heart. Don't betray your heart.
posted by ekkie at 11:14 pm
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